It was so much fun to use my energy towards creative things instead of pain management and daily function (that many take for granted).
Fun Little Projects
We built a viewing box in my parents backyard out of chairs and cushions. With this we were able to get a pretty cool view of the eclipse that happened on August 21, 2017. It was a ton of fun to work with my Dad to put it together and think of ways to improve it.
In the past I would have given input from a chair or have lost patience quickly due to pain. This time I was able to stay engaged and motivated for the entire process. Yippee! It’s so simplistic, yet so exciting for me.
Now, I’m not saying I didn’t see projects through to the end, back when pain ruled my life, I just operated differently. Somethings took more time, others didn’t but were less enjoyable and I them viewed more as a necessity to complete rather then a pleasure. I often needed to sit or take seated breaks to relax and breath. When I say breath, I don’t actually mean that I was short on breath, I mean that I needed to stop and re-center myself, take a step back to re-gain energy and calm my nervous system (In case you have never lived with chronic pain).
When I use to work in a law firm, new people would often find me intimidating. Now, i like to think I’ve always been a nice person but when it comes to serious matters I can be a little more intense. I’m curious now if I could have been any different to work with if I didn’t have chronic pain. Chronic pain Kaitlyn v. Pain free Kaitlyn. Some days would have been easier for the people around me, I’m sure.
Many of my co-workers had no idea the type of pain I was in. Sure, my close friends from work knew I was in pain and had trouble with my hips, but they didn’t understand it until later.
Back to August 21. My bf is very interested in aeroponics. He has been educating himself and getting parts to build his own system for herbs and greens. I love his dreams and ambitions and feel that I am finally at a point where I am able to help him, instead of standing back and watching.
The Journey from Broken to Healed from Outside Eyes
Last time that I saw my hair dresser I was on crutches and while I don’t see her all the time (every 6 weeks) she can see my progress. She could not believe how mobile I was. She wouldn’t believe that I went through all of this if she hadn’t seen it for herself.
I found this a lot with everyone I spoke too. If they don’t see you at the lowest (however long that may last) and all the work you put into your recovery, they won’t be able to understand what you have been through.